A local 26-year-old opens up about her mental health struggles in hopes of helping others.
Kaddie Tribble said her journey began at the age of 14 when her grandfather passed away. She said because she considered her grandfather her favorite, her depression started soon after his death.
“I started self-harming in high school to ‘control’ the pain,” Tribble said. “When you’re depressed, you often feel nothing at all, so for me, self-harming was a way to feel and a way for me to control what I feel and how I feel it.”
Tribble said her self-harming continued all through high school. She began turning to other things outside of self-harming to forget everything going through her mind. She said she noticed she started idealizing suicide and often thought about opening the car door as she drove more than 65 miles-per-hour on the highway.
Tribble attended Northwest Missouri State University after graduating high school. She said she described college as hard for her. She found she couldn’t attend class. She would sleep all day and would either overeat or not eat at all.
She said she quit self-harming but then turned heavily to alcohol to forget. Tribble said she ended her college career her sophomore year because she grew tired of failing out of school due to poor attendance.
Tribble first sought help in 2016. Doctors put her on medication, and she said she hated it. She went from feeling nothing to feeling everything within a week. Tribble said she quit her medication “cold turkey” because she didn’t like the feeling. Tribble said that was when she hit rock bottom.
“That summer suicide became very noticeable,” Tribble said. “I had saved all the pills I stopped taking in order to one day end it all with tequila and pills. I couldn’t find the pills one night, so I never did.”
At the end of 2016, Tribble moved to Colorado in hopes of a fresh start. She said while the move helped for a little while, she moved back in 2017 because she couldn’t stand to be away from her family.
In 2018, Tribble said her depression got worse. She quit her job in November 2018 and stayed unemployed until January 2019.
“I was in a dark place, where I continued to shut out my friends and family and isolate myself,” Tribble said. “I couldn’t keep a job because I didn’t have the energy to work, and I hated every job I had. During my unemployment, my dark place became overwhelming.”
Tribble said one night she left a meeting within 10 minutes of arriving and began to take all the back roads around town. As she drove, she said she planned her suicide.
She told herself if she took certain spots in H Highway, she could roll her car and not survive. If that didn’t work, she said she wanted to go home and drink until it just killed her. She ended up at her youth pastor’s house and cried to his wife for hours.
The next day she decided she would check herself into Signature Hospital at North Kansas City. Tribble spent three days there where she was on medication, was able to see a psychiatrist every morning and attended many group therapy sessions.
Tribble said she describes her dad, Nickey Tribble, as extremely special to her. He allowed her to live with him when she moved back from Colorado for a couple of months. She said he loves deeply and cares for her fiercely.
She said her 15-year-old sister, Amanda Tribble, became “absolutely one of my best friends.” Tribble said she can talk with her sister about anything and everything. Tribble also said she tends to steal Amanda’s clothes due to her great sense of style. When Tribble moved back from Colorado, she shared a room with her sister. She said her sister has a heart of gold and became her “absolute rock.”
Tribble said even though her mom, Mikki Tribble, currently battles cancer, she would do absolutely anything for her family. Tribble said she knows she can call her mom anytime, day or night to talk.
“My mom is my hero,” Tribble said. “She has faced her personal battle with cancer with grace and endless determination. She’s brave, determined, fierce and oh so loving.”
Tribble said she describes her sister-in-law, Michelle Tribble, as a saving grace. Tribble said Michelle loves hard and will do absolutely anything for anyone. She said her sister-in-law possesses a big servant’s heart and raises her son, Champion Tribble, to be a stellar human being. Tribble said Michelle’s adventurous spirit causes her to go anywhere the wind blows. Tribble said for the last 10 years, Michelle served as a huge role model for her.
She said she and her brother, Jason Tribble, currently work to restore their relationship. Tribble said she knows despite their differences, she knows Jason remains one of her biggest supporters. He will do anything for his sisters and will go down fighting for his family.
Tribble said without her family, she wouldn’t have survived her depression. She said they never gave up on her, even when she isolated herself from them. She said they have loved, supported and uplifted her consistently through her struggles.
THE HEALING CONTINUES
Tribble said one of her favorite hobbies include hanging out with her family. She also enjoys going on road trips, playing games with her little sister and serving at her church. She also enjoys walking Chichi, the furry member of her family, a nine-year-old Chihuahua Papillon mix.
Tribble said Ephesians 3:20 became her favorite scripture because of its meaning for her life.
“God has more in store for you than you can even imagine.”
Tribble now works as an aide at a nursing home on the Dementia and Alzheimer’s unit. She has decided to go back to nursing school this year. She said she hopes she will one day serve in the emergency room.
Tribble said lately she makes it a priority to take care of herself. She said she openly talks to her family, church members and friends.
She said she found talking about her problems and learning to live life on life’s terms helped her on the road to her recovery.
Tribble said that “living life on life’s terms” became a motto she works on living by. She still calls herself a work in process and her journey to healing still has many miles for her to go.
However, she said she urges anyone suffering from depression to reach out. Seek help. Lean on those who will support them and build them up. There’s a strong evil that wants you dead, but for her, Tribble to continues to seek Christ, and drown out that dark voice.
“My hope has always been to help others understand and seek help,” Tribble said. “I’ve had many people reach out to me about their depression and that’s been my only reason for speaking up.”