Lately, I have found myself paying more attention not only to what people say when they are challenged, but also the way they choose to defend themselves.

It comes up everywhere, from disagreements between friends to online conversations and workplace situations. When someone questions a decision or points out something that could have been handled differently, the response can quickly shift to what somebody else did or did not do, rather than addressing the criticism.

That kind of response has started to bother me more than it probably used to.

If someone has a legitimate explanation for a decision, I want to hear it. There are plenty of times when those of us on the outside don’t have all the information, and additional context can completely change the way a situation looks.

Explaining that context is different, though, from pointing toward someone else and essentially saying, “Well, look what they did.” Someone else’s shortcomings do not automatically make our own decisions better.

Mayb…